Modern parenting is high stakes, leaving parents terrified of failure in their parenting and in their children. But it turns out that the overprotective behaviors driven by our fears undermine our children’s—and our own—successes throughout life. Join Yael for a conversation with best-selling author, teacher, podcaster, and parent Jessica Lahey for a thought-provoking conversation about how parents can learn to relate to failure differently for themselves and their children. And why we should.
Listen and Learn:
- How overprotective parenting can undermine competence, independence, academic potential, and emotional health
- Why failure gets a bad rap and how to reframe it
- How autonomy, competence, and relatedness can help our kids learn to learn better
- The importance of intrinsic motivation and how to help children build it
- What external motivators are and why they are problematic
- How to “parent in place” with greater ease (what we can do less of and what we can focus on while our children are learning at home)
- Why it’s important to focus on process over product
About Jessica Lahey:
Jessica Lahey is a teacher, writer, and mom. Over twenty years, she’s taught every grade from sixth to twelfth in both public and private schools. She writes about education, parenting, and child welfare for The Atlantic, Vermont Public Radio, The Washington Post and the New York Times and is the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. She is a member of the Amazon Studios Thought Leader Board and wrote the educational curriculum for Amazon Kids’ The Stinky and Dirty Show. Jessica earned a B.A. in Comparative Literature from the University of Massachusetts and a J.D. with a concentration in juvenile and education law from the University of North Carolina School of Law. She lives in Vermont with her husband and two sons. Her second book, The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence, will be released in April 2021.
Resources from Jess:
- Jessica’s Website
- The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed, by Jessica Lahey
- #AmWriting Podcast with Jessica Lahey, KJ Dell’Antonia, and Sarina Bowen
- Parenting in Place Masterclass
- From The Atlantic, Why back-to-school night made me feel like a bad mom, by Jessica Lahey
- Yael’s essay in Rick Hanson’s Wise Brain Bulletin, How to Be a Happier Parent Under Quarantine
- Jessica’s bibliography containing the books referenced during this episode (and many others Jess refers to in various speaking engagements and writing).
- The Stinky and Dirty Show on Amazon Prime
Related Psychologists Off The Clock Episodes
Thank you for joining us on this episode of Psychologists Off The Clock.
Like what you’re hearing? Support us on Patreon.
We appreciate your feedback. Please take a moment to leave a quick rating and review of the show on Apple Podcasts. It helps us spread the word to more folks like you!
Please note the information on